Jazz Vocalist
Just a heads-up to say that I was an additional writer this week on The News Quiz – BBC Radio 4′s marvellous, long-running topical panel show – and you can listen to it on the BBC website here or via the iPlayer here. Truly an honour to work on a show that I’ve loved since childhood 
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May 4, 2011
(Because you can never have enough sketches entitled ‘The Return of…’)
NARRATOR John Lewis has announced that it’s scrapping its 28 day returns policy – and making the period you can return an item indefinite. Consumers throughout the UK are now hoping that the move will be extended to all businesses and services…
A smartly dressed MAN is behind a desk using a laptop or doing paperwork. A WOMAN enters.
WOMAN Er, hello? Is this the Party Leaders’ Returns Department?
MAN Yes, madam, that’s us: ‘No MP too big’! Except Eric Pickles, of course. And how may I help you today?
WOMAN Well, I’ve left him outside, but… I’d like to return Ed Miliband. Turns out we made a terrible mistake.
April 7, 2011
DAVID CAMERON is standing in front of NICK CLEGG and TWO SMARTLY DRESSED WOMEN. They are seated, while Cameron stands, like a teacher addressing a class.
Cameron is holding a marker pen. Next to him, there’s a stand with a flip chart. The cover page reads NHS LISTENING EXERCISES.
CAMERON Ladies and gentlemen of the Cabinet and the NHS. I think we all know why we’re here…
CLEGG (eagerly putting hand in air) Ooh, ooh, I know, Mr Cameron! I know!
CAMERON Yes, Clegg?
CLEGG It’s to practice our listening exercises!
April 5, 2011