‘Send In The Crowns’

Not been writing so many songs lately, as have been concentrating on joke and sketch-writing (more of that in a later post) – but in the meantime, here’s one I wrote today about… Her. You know: the royal ‘Her’.

Send In The Crowns (as sung by Kate Middleton)
(to the tune of ‘Send In The Clowns’)

Isn’t he rich?
Now we’re a pair!
Me with my feet on the ground
Him the royal heir
Send in the crowns!

Isn’t it bliss?
What shall I wear?
Designer overpriced gowns
And in my hair…
Where are my crowns?
I want my crowns!

Just when I’d stopped opening doors
I got some servants and butlers, and that’s what they’re for
There’ll be some changes I’m sure to my usual hair
Now that I’m in
The public glare

Diana’s ring?
Will’s fault, I fear
He thought that I’d like what she liked
Sorry, Will dear!
I just want crowns
Quick, send in the crowns
“Oi Kate, love, they’re here!”

Isn’t he rich?
Glad he’s not queer
Trying to be a princess
Has been my career
And when Liz steps down
I’ll wear a crown!
Well, maybe next year…