Finding your ‘voice’ in writing (and music, and life)

Did you know that Hold Me Now by The Thompson Twins has a middle bridge section that’s very like Wichita Lineman? Nor did I until this week, when I sat down at my piano keyboard on a whim to see how possible-slash-satisfying one of my absolute favourite songs from the 80s would be to sing and play. (Turns out: very possible, and very satisfying.)

The reason I’ve been sitting down at my keyboard on a whim quite a lot lately – normally prompted by a favourite song from the 70s or 80s popping up on shuffle (I can testify that How Long by Ace is also incredibly satisfying) – is because, for the very first time in my life, in my 50s, I am busking. And in fact this month I took it one stage further – literally, it was at the Man Cave Stage – and sang and played at Ilkley Live, a brilliant free music festival that happens in my new hometown every year:

I’ve sung with jazz musicians – ie vocals only – for many years now, although until recently I hadn’t actually done it for many years, if you see what I mean. But singing while also playing piano in public has been something I’ve only done occasionally – again, many years ago, and vitally: only ever as background music in a busy bar or restaurant. To sing and play while people are actually, erm, paying attention is a new, rather scary, step for me. And it’s got me thinking about the idea of being heard – about being public, and audible. About one’s voice.

The idea of your ‘voice’ is talked about a lot in the writing world. But how do you find it? And what even is it?

The latter question is, for me, the route into the former. One’s ‘voice’ is one’s personality on the page: your take on life and the world, your POV, your values and beliefs and tastes, all showing through how you write and what you write about. It’s your ‘brand’. All there, on a plate (or at least on a page). It’s you the writer being you the writer.

So how do you unearth it, develop it? For me, that process has been inextricably linked to finding my voice full stop. It’s been linked to me learning that a key route to happiness and fulfilment in all areas of life – in work, relationships, family – is trying, learning, to be the most YOU you can be. Learning to embrace who you are, how you feel, what you think – rather than denying it or hiding it. Learning to shed the layers that grow around all of us.

Learning to embrace oneself is easier said than done, of course. The journey from self-aversion to self-acceptance can be scary, and is a life’s work (see Emily McDowell’s words of wisdom above and ee cummings’ words of wisdom below). But it’s so helpful in life, and in finding your creative voice – because learning to be the most ‘you’ you can be in life will help you to create work that is authentic, and authentically yours. It can also be a similar process: an excavation, an unearthing. My voice – just like your voice! – is something that’s actually been there all along. It is there within us, it shows through our attitude to life, the world, people – and depending on how fully ourselves we are, it shows through our actions and, yes, through our words.

Here are three things – routes? Methods? Tips! – I’ve found incredibly helpful when it’s come to finding and developing my voice: in writing, music and life.

1. Get used to expressing yourself – and expressing your opinion

In general. In life. My therapist got me to try this many years ago – she told me to start off just by getting used to saying, say, whether I wanted tea or coffee; what I really thought of a meal I’d just had. Obviously I’m not suggesting you do it to the point of being obnoxious or hurtful, as if you’ve taken some sort of truth serum. Or that you only think about it in terms of food and beverages. It’s about simply getting your voice – ie. your views, your take on things – out there more in the world.  And most importantly: getting used to hearing yourself express them.

2. Lean into what you love – and forget about ‘guilty pleasures’

What do you genuinely love to watch, read, listen to? Lean into it: not just because embracing our tastes helps us to embrace ourselves, but because other people’s creative voices are a good way into finding and developing our own. My inspiration and starting point for a film script or scene is often ‘wanting to write something like X’. My ‘X’ might be Sideways or ‘That montage in Tootsie where he’s on the farm with Julie and her dad’. ABBA’s ‘X’ for Dancing Queen was apparently Rock The Boat by Hues Corporation. And maybe, just maybe, the Thompson Twins’ ‘X’ for the bridge of Hold Me Now was Wichita Lineman. The point is: your ‘X’ is yours. There’s a reason it resonates with you. So embrace it – embrace your tastes and influences, don’t worry about what’s ‘cool’ or what you think the industry wants, and don’t ever, ever feel guilty or embarrassed about what you like and find joy in. And then…

3. Ask yourself: What is the most ‘you’ thing you could write? – and write it

If others had to describe you, how would they? What script or song or painting would be ‘you on a plate’? I wrote a spec feature script a few years ago that’s an 80s jukebox musical romcom. I stuffed it full of songs that I love, I thought about Gene Kelly in rollerskates in It’s Always Fair Weather, I sang and danced to the soundtrack at home like nobody was watching (my husband was out)… In short: it was a script that couldn’t be more ‘me’ if I tried. I’m never going to write a horror movie or a serial killer TV series – but you can bet your bottom dollar I’m going to write an 80s romcom musical and busk mellow pop hits from the 70s (you can also bet your bottom dollar that I’m going to use the phrase ‘bet your bottom dollar’). So I urge you to do the same: write/create whatever’s ‘you on a plate’. And that includes if you write genre scripts or books. Sure, there will be conventions – restrictions, even – within your chosen genre, but one of the joys I find in, say, romcoms is that I can put my personal take on that genre and those conventions. What do I want to say about love, about relationships, about what’s expected of us in society? What do you want to say about the world? Say it. No matter what your age or background or what’s already out there. Because we want to hear your take. Your voice.

And we really do. As the Mariane Williamson quote famously tells us: you being yourself, shining your light, gives others permission to shine their light too. One reason why I want to busk is because I want to be visible (and audible!) not just for myself but for others. In a world where buskers tend to be a) male and b) playing guitars, I hope that little girls walking past me will see a woman singing and playing piano, and quite possibly think to themselves: ‘She’s doing that… So maybe I can.’ And I hope that all the grown women who were told that Wham! weren’t cool can see themselves in me, too.

Be you. Write as you. Paint, sing, compose as you. Because your voice is important, and needed. And I can’t wait to hear it.

PS If you’re West Yorkshire way and want to hear me busk the Thompson Twins’ Hold Me Now – among other things – I’ll be singing/playing at Outside The Box on Sunday 17 August 11am-1pm, and at Buzz Coffee on The Grove on Saturday 23 August 10.30am-12.30pm. I’ll also be singing with the Kitchen Jazz Collective at the Yorkshire Day celebrations on Saturday 3rd August at 3pm.